Mr. Irate Motorist,
just how many lanes do you want?

A familiar sound. Behind me, "HONK HONK!" Sigh. Here we go again. "HONK HONK HONK!!!" I maintain my position in the center of the lane as it's too narrow to share with a car. I'm on Division, a one way street, three lanes, very light traffic, but Mr. Irate Motorist is pissed off that I've taken one of three lanes. Most people just change lanes to pass me, like they would any other slow-moving vehicle, but Mr. Irate Motorist slows to my pace, window rolled down, half in my lane, half in the next, beside me. "BLAH BLAH BLAH SHOULDN'T BE ON THE ROAD BLAH BLAH BLAH SPEED LIMIT BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" I can't understand half of what he's saying, but I imagine it's what I've heard before. He thinks I shouldn't be on the road since I can't maintain the speed limit. Do people even understand anymore that the speed limit is supposed to be the maximum speed allowed, not the minimum? I suppose not, since the police don't ticket anyone unless they're going well over the posted limit.

I yell over his words, "THERE'S A PASSING LANE! THERE'S A PASSING LANE! THERE'S A PASSING LANE!" over and over, as clearly as I can, all the way to Ann, where I turn right and continue my journey to work. After I turn I glance back and see a police car on Division, continuing past Ann. No flashing lights though. I would think the police officer would have witnessed the motorist driving half in one lane, half in the other for several blocks, keeping pace with me while I was yelling. Didn't it occur to the officer that the motorist was harassing me? If it did, police don't seem to think harassment of cyclists is a problem.

My thoughts returned to Mr. Irate Motorist. What I had said to him was, "There's a passing lane." What I should have said was, "You've got two passing lanes! This road is three lanes wide! Just how many lanes do you want? Quit harassing me, you dumbass!" Some motorists are like grown up versions of possessive children who don't want to share their toys. It isn't that they're able to play with all of their toys themselves simultaneously; they just don't want anyone else to play with anything. They want everything for themselves.

I have a hunch that if someone did a study they would find that the motorists who harass cyclists, don't want them on "their" roads, argue about maintaining speed limits, paying road taxes, and all the other ridiculous things cyclists have all heard, are the same people who were possessive children who didn't want to share toys or take turns on playground equipment. It isn't about speed limits or road taxes. It's about personality. One develops one's essential personality as a young child. It's a core part of one's being. Interests and skills will come and go throughout life, and beliefs may change, but personality isn't going to change much.

I'm not a parent, and I realize there are different approaches to parenting. I have no idea what works. How do you deal with a little kid who wants to have all the toys? How do you get little Billy to get it into his thick little head that it doesn't really matter that he wants all the toys? Other kids want to play too. If he keeps all the toys to himself, he's being a jerk. Is there some way to make him see that?

If there is, that's what we need to do with grown up Bill. We need to make him see that it really doesn't matter that he wants the whole road to himself. Other people need to use it too. If he tries to keep the whole road to himself, he's being a jerk.